An excerpt from a book I’m still reading: “The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families” by Marissa Burt and Kelsey McGinnis.
Starting on p. 4
The authors noticed that many of the marketing pitches of that time (70s, 80s, 90s) …
… hit the same notes. One after another, we found what we call “prosperity gospel parenting promises.” These are claims that suggest that if parents approach parenting the right way, God will bless their efforts and obedience with happy, healthy, godly children who will testify to both parental faithfulness and the Christian way of life. This myth - that God provides a formula for “good Christian parenting” - permeates these resources, presenting an aspirational goal while also motivating parents with high eternal stakes.
We will examine various elements of these myths throughout this book, but for now we want to underscore that empire builders boosted their credibility with claims to teach the simple truths of the Bible. Many evangelicals trust a spirtual leader’s authoritative teaching on every topic, especially when it comes with warnings like this one from Growing Kids God’s Way: “God pre-programmed all factors for success into His divine plan. As with all matters discussed in Scripture, if you violate the principles, you forfeit the blessings. When you embrace His commandments, the blessings of joy and fulfillment will be yours.”
What parent wants to forfeit God’s blessings or risk fearful outcomes? Spiritual goals can put anxious parents on an endless treadmill of introspection…
When promised everything from godly children to a happy home, evangelical parents had a choice: trustingly comply or risk their children’s spiritual well-being. And because much of the teaching relied on theological claims, it came with stowaway doctrines that shaped people’s perspectives about the nature and character of God.
There was some weird stuff going on then, with Bill Gothard, Teen Mania, and Focus on the Family. Not all was bad, but so much was distorted and twisted into something far from the gospel.
I learned at the BYC session on music that Christians lie.
I was in high school, and I knew enough about music and a little about pagan Greeek philosophy to smell a rat.
A relly big, fat stinking one, we finally learned.
Yep, I am fortunate we kept our kids out of most of that, but no doubt they still were affected, as was I, because that was the water we were steeped in.
In one of the last sessions Gothard was opining about music being healthy or unhealthy - I believe those were his terms - and that of course Christians should only listen to healthy music. One of his musical targets were pieces that never actually resolved, but repeated and faded. Those, according to Gothard, were unhealthy.
He had to rely on Greek philosophers to make his case, because of course, there is no biblical guidance on a matter like this. It’s irrelevant. But to him, it was essential. If a Christian has to rely on Greek philosophy for the source of a point and its entire case, because there are no texts that talk about philosophy of composition in the Bible, then we should tell him to take his presentation to the philosophy department and leave us alone.
He also harped on mixed fiber garments. Sorry , no cotton poly blends for Christians. This is just nuts.
I guess Mike Warnke came before Gothard in my chronological awareness. Warnke was liar, too. A carnival showman.
And then Henry Morris’s thinly veiled straw man description of evolution.
Our churches should have driven them out of town with boom boxes, but instead, they were seen as important protectors of the faith or insightful teachers. They weren’t. THey lied and they knew it. They were wolves.
Warnke was not on my radar, but the satanic panic he was part of certainly was a part of culture at the time. I was reading his Wikipedia story, and he was certainly a parasite. Unfortunately, the legacy of those types live on in some Christian circles. It seems to all be about power and control.
Back to the premise of the original post, I was fortunate to have had parents who did not pressure me, but I did a pretty good job of pressuring myself. In retrospect, I think they tried a bit to get me to loosen up. In any case, our society today has morphed a lot into one where “winning” is the most important thing, particularly for a big subset that is currently dominating, usually measured in terms of money, power, and control. It is distinctly anti-Christian, despite the labels attached.
While I imagine I’d have reacted the same way toward some blow hard trying to pass off his druthers as absolute, I don’t see anything wrong with searching back through earlier cultures to understand ones own. I think that could still have value even though it wouldn’t be because I thought that an earlier culture was more authoritative. Christianity is a culmination of earlier cultures stretching back to purely oral cultures. I am critical of the impulse to take any written account of a traditional culture and decide its expression is the one and only true expression of what all the cultures before and since have been approximating imperfectly. Seems too self congratulatory for my liking.
A Christian fundamentalist trying to pass off preferences of a Greek philosopher support for a Christian fundamentalist’s biblical view of music to throngs of Christian fundamentalists is a charlatan, a wolf. Which was my point.
Which Gothard demonstrated himself to be even to his devotes when he was exposed for sexual harassament, abuse, molestation and psychological abuse.
Obviously, I don’t see anything wrong with searching through all sorts of areas of thought outside Christianity. But as a Christian these things are secondary to core beliefs I hold about God.
I find the term “culmination” incomplete.
Yes. I’m aware of this.
We return to it often enough. I’d prefer not to.
I’m sorry that when I speak as a Christian it is offensive to you, Mark. But it is what I am, and talking about Christianity is largely a reason I participate in this forum.
In criticizing a fraud who was quite influential in my limited sphere, and in explaining some of my frustrations with my own “tribe” I find I have offended you. I’m sorry about that. I don’t know another way to say what I had to say to people who would likely have similar experiences.
Thinking about these things over the last few years, I’m bothered that the pastors I grew up with allowed people to plan participation in some of these things as offical or sanctioned or even mentioned church events. Like organizing church tranportation or even putting it in the bulletin.
Some things were videos shown on a Wednesday night.
So much damage in so many different ways.
Such distraction from the real point and the church’s real job.
It was a long time ago, Terry. I don’t remember if the pastors went to the Gothard thing. I honestly don’t know how they would have had the time to take so much time away from their work. It was like a week long, full day seminars in the biggest conference center in Detroit at the time.
But the Henry Morris and Mike Warnke videos were shown at the church, which wasn’t just something congregation members put together. They had to have had the approval of the pastors, at least the youth pastor, to be shown in the contexts that they were.