I’d like to challenge you to listen to a productive conversation by someone with your beliefs about origins, Todd Wood and someone with beliefs like most of the people on this site, Darrel Falk. @Randy just posted it here: Godly Discourse: The Fool and the Heretic at Calvin College 1/9/20
I found it very encouraging and I’m not even a Christian. If you decide to give it a try I’ll be happy to talk about it with you as a fellow ‘outsider’.