That was hilarious!
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Thank you! Iâm not done yet.
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Teenage boy asks his father for a car .
Father replies " you must get baptised , read your Bible everyday ,and cut your long hair " âŚ
A few months go by and the boy asks again .
Father asks if he completed the tasks .
The boy replies " I read the whole Bible , and I got baptised " âŚ
Father asks " how about your long hair ? â
The boy replies " Jesus had long hair " smiling , thinking he had stumped his father âŚ
Father replies " Jesus also walked everywhere he went !!â
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An old preacher found himself living in a flood plain durring flood season âŚ
As the waters around his house began to rise up to his porch , a neighbor with a 4x4 pickup offered to help the preacher move his belongings and himself to higher ground âŚ
The preacher replied " no need , the good Lord will save me !" âŚthe truck drove on âŚ
The waters continue to rise , the preacher is forced to a second story window âŚ
A fire rescue moror boat pulls up and encourages the preacher to get aboard âŚ
The preacher replies " thank you , but the Lord will save me " âŚthe boat moves on .
The waters rise , the preacher is forced onto his roof clinging to the chimney .
A lifeline rescue helicopter flies to hover just over the chimney and sends down a rope and harness âŚ
The old preacher bats it away screaming " no need , God will save me" âŚ
And as he does this , the house tips on itâs foundation and rolls over , sadly killing the poor old preacher âŚ
Upon reaching heaven the old preacher asks Jesus " why didnât you save me ???" âŚ
Jesus replies " I sent you a truck , a boat ,and a helicopter , What more did you want !!? "
This is funny. Thought about posting for the discussion on free will at about 3:00.
( by the way, enjoyed the real sermon that Beaglelady commented on above, as well as the satire from SNL )
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Q: What verse in the Bible mentions a Honda?
A: âThey were all in one accordâ
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Who were the shortest people in the Bible?
âKnee-high-Miah and Bildad the Shoe height.
What time of day was Adam created? (to throw a wrench in our discussions)!
âA little before Eve.
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Favorite Hymns:
Whatâs the favorite hymn of pilots?
âIll Fly Awayâ
Whatâs the favorite hymn of dentists?
âCrown Him with many Crownsâ
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Still a favorite of mine:
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.
Therefore, he took out a card and wrote âRevelation 3:20â on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday,
he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, âGenesis 3:10.â
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins âBehold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with meâŚâ
Genesis 3:10 reads, âAnd he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.â
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Personally, I credit Peter with the first sermon joke on the day of Pentecost. When people questioned if they were drunk Peterâs response was âIt is too early in the day!â
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Why are grand pianos unsuitable for use in churches?
They are not upright.
An alternate answer to how many episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb:
Change that bulb!âmy grandmother donated that bulb to the church.
The piano joke was one I got from my dad. He was a chemistry teacher, and his favorite science cartoon (I donât think I have seen any science jokes yet) showed a teacher holding a broken test tube, his face and shirt blackened, saying, âThe class will note that a black precipitate formed.â
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Thanks for that. We definitely need some science jokes. Besides Far Side, the only one I recall is from 1994 physics in collegeâsomeone gave a physics professor a ticket for driving through a red light. The prof thought heâd put one over on the police officer by using obfuscatory physics language to say that the Doppler shift had made it look yellow. The police officer knew his own physics stuff, though, and gave him a huge ticket for driving 100,000 miles/second (or something like thatâIâm too rusty to remember the exact number. Iâm sure that Dr Haarsma would know that one.
Chemistry joke.
Chloroform!? This doesnât smell like â !
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Here is an xkcd cartoon I have on my classroom wall ⌠which captures the âphysics-envyâ that tends to go on in different fields. It also captures the reductionistic thought patterns dubbed ânothing butteryâ (by Polkinghorne I believe?)
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My husbandâs got the same one on his wall⌠he teaches both math and physics. 
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Thanks. What is it about Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side that makes them so good at this type of wise humor? Maybe the philosophersâ names in C&H are a clue.
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Being a hot near summer day, and to supplement our discussions on the nature of hell:
https://scontent-dfw5-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/34382034_350058182185459_1211510609485496320_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&_nc_eui2=AeG3Q6uUqMy7pK81vErhFG09PEojuR3SoioYEwsbvIoTi11Qp7oITkWSy9-DAH_jaMxn5Gt0wrV8l3GRVjRPYiDiIkAVeNwprY1ZGb2SP_S-RQ&oh=c28fa72a7e7cc0236380d163a2ee46ec&oe=5B80BA09
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