Humor in Science and Theology

(Randy) #183


I’m a presbyterian but I found this amusing. No offense to anybody :smile:


(Randy) #185

I always wondered what a Reformed Baptist was. My grandpa’s church is First Reformed of Grand Haven, but as it burnt down 3 times, the tour guide on the town trolley always said it should be called “Fourth Reformed.”

When I lived in Tennessee, there was a Primitive Baptist church denomination–I was also intrigued by that one.

(David Heddle) #186

I’m a Reformed Baptist. Apart from the baptism thing we are just like the Reformed Presbyterians. (The Westminster Confession and the 1689 London Baptist Confession are about 90% common.) Although I do think that, while we don’t admit it, we have added “Pot Luck” as a third sacrament/ordinance.

I always wanted to start a new denomination, the Bapterians, who drink like Presbyterians, eat like Baptists, and baptize whenever the mood strikes, young or old.

(Randy) #187

that sounds like a great denomination!

By the way, my little Baptist church calls it “carry in” dinner because about 30 years ago, one pastor said he doesn’t believe in “luck.”. doesn’t matter that the etymology doesn’t have anything to do with luck :slight_smile:

I told them that the food is good–it doesn’t taste like carrion at all.

(Mervin Bitikofer) #188

Good call. Best not to be messing around with “pot” either. Don’t want the after-church parties to be too laid back. :no_smoking:

(Randy) #189

Oh, that’s even better!

(A.M. Wolfe) #190

oh, em, gee… I laughed so hard at that Babylon Bee headline! haha wow. :rofl:

(Randy) #191

The Intelligent Designer

submitted by: Josh

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer need you. We’re at the point where we can clone people and do a number of miraculous things, so thanks for everything, but we can take over from here.”

God listened very patiently. After the scientist was done talking, God said, “Very well, how about this? Let’s say we have a man-making contest.” To which the scientist replied, “Okay, great!”

But God added, “Now, we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam.”

The scientist said, “Sure, no problem” and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God looked at him and said, “No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!”

(Phil) #192

(Mark D.) #193

Well, you may not quite be a reformed baptist but as a Presbyterian you are obviously highly evolved enough to venture an opinion.


(Phil) #194

Love the white hips (we can can say hips here can’t we?) of the Reformed Baptist, as he must have dropped his tighties whities for the artist.

(Mark D.) #195

Say more. Perhaps I could be persuaded.


There is even compelling evidence for interbreeding between presbyterians and reformed baptists, and many of their progeny retain the baptist tanline :rofl:

(Phil) #197

That group was well represented in my West Texas community (which was pretty well represented by the out migration from Appalachia). They were also called "hard shell’ Baptists. Why, I do not know, but a pretty apt description. They are big on “singings” and foot washing. Just looking at Wikipedia, they are a subset of Calvinist Baptists,

(Mervin Bitikofer) #198

So I wonder if Shakers will be preserved in the fossil record. Not a lot of interbreeding going on with that group I hear.

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah’s Witness with a Universalist Unitarian?

Somebody who goes door-to-door for no apparent reason.

(Randy) #200

just printing this one again from post #57 in the spirit of the denominations joke from @jasonbourne4

(Randy) #201

Warning–tongue in cheek and psychotic. I didn’t get it till the end).

(Randy) #202

(Phil) #203

Parenting for Adam and Eve must have been interesting…