What Happened When I Wanted to Give Up on God

I found this article touching that was just posted on the main BioLogos page. It also relates a bit to some of our discussions on YEC, science, and our relationship with God.

My personal story has some parallels but perhaps in a less dramatic way, as undergraduate life had conflict between my small town background and literalistic view of scripture vs. the science I studied and the university setting I lived in. It was complicated a bit by the “Jesus Movement” of the '70s and its pretty literalistic theology that permeated the Christian college culture of the time, though that was a major factor in putting people in my life that helped me stay on track.

Does this article resonate with you? How did it differ and how was it like your experience?


I am looking forward to it!

What Happened When I Wanted to Give Up on God (biologos.org)

It appears very thoughtful. Thanks.

Thanks! I forgot to add the link! Good thing I retired!


Wow, it’s so encouraging knowing those common questions articles that so many people have labored over had such an effect. I’ve run into a number of people like this who could have been spared years of fumbling around feeling lost and alone if they had only known where to look for comraderie.


“I made it all. Don’t be afraid to explore it.”

That is just awesome.

“Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them.” – Psalm 111:2


I appreciated his honesty.

I remember the quote from Tevye in “Fiddler on the Roof,” when his daughter asked him to accept her and her non-Jewish husband. “If I bend that far…I’ll break.” His agony in choosing between his daughter and his faith reminds me of the struggle we all go through.

Would I be able to follow truth, if it truly did contradict what I believe?

It makes me think, and work on empathy.

Great article. Thanks.

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It seems alien to me. I think it would seem even more alien if I hadn’t spent too many years bumping into YEC silliness online, most recently here. From reading Genesis in the Hebrew I never had any reason to believe that the earth was any particular age.
Though the points in my life that make it least alien was helping fellow students through the crisis of realizing that YECism is based on lies about scripture.


If I wasn’t well into retirement I could see myself moving to be near my old university and finding ways to help students who face this crisis!


such a shame that a supposedly educated pastor should come up the following statgement:

“Don’t confuse human knowledge and interpretation with the gospel of Jesus like I did.”

I am surprised that any theologian would struggle with that concept as its fundamental to all bibilical theology

Proverbs 3:5-6 King James Version (KJV) 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

oh well another confused individual producing errant claims online about his apparent journey to enlightenment where its exactly the interpretations of men that he now follows!

some would call this mans claim circular, others might see it as an illusion.

The point is, this man was prepared to give up on his faith because he couldnt make sense of what he saw around him. His apparent discovery of Darwinian science is not a biblical pathway to finding ones faith again. That is the illusion. I feel sorry for the man to be honest.

I think that most (if not all) Christians face those moments of doubt. My experience(s) inevitably end up with the question, why has God not given up with us. The biggest obstacle to me is the problem of evil. Why do we, as intelligent human beings, commit such hideous, pointless, and destructive acts, to ourselves and to others?

When I consider doubt in this context, I find comfort in the knowledge that Christ considers us worth the effort and offers salvation.

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…don’t give up on God…Dig deeper. Think bigger. Draw closer. Let mystery point you to the Creator and discovery expand your sense of wonder.

This article does resonate with me, although slightly differently. I fully acknowledge the quote because I noticed that the God many people were speaking of in the Bible groups and in the OT was too small, too anthropomorphic, and too typically patriarchally temperamental. Although that fit into a mythological narrative, it didn’t fit into the awesome reality I was discovering. Equally, the “Daddy” that people were making out of “Abba” and our childish songs went against the grain when we look at the devastation humanity has caused, the suffering that also the church has perpetrated, and the fact that the line between good and evil runs through our hearts.

The more my studies discovered the complexity and diversity of life as it has developed on our planet, the cataclysmic past of the planet, the vastness of the universe and the distance to other stars that is increasing, I realised that my theology was inadequate. What did grow was a faith that God was present in ways I couldn’t yet understand precisely because of the size of perceived reality. This is when I went through the phase of pantheism, and finally on to panentheism, and an awareness that God is in us in a way we can’t perceive, because we can’t get behind our eyes. At the same time, God transcends our paltry existence, our weaknesses and our finiteness, and pushes us towards him from inside.

I then realised how so many religious traditions are struggling, seeking, and failing with every generation. But it is the defeat that is regenerative, and it is the surrender that brings us closer.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

St. Francis


Peace Prayer

Science simply is the study how God created.

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I sang this as a solo, playing guitar, at a friend’s wedding:

Or at least it was supposed to be a solo; a friend who was also a friend of the bride saw it in the program and caught me to say she would sing alto harmony. It wasn’t anywhere close to this beautiful, though.

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I would hope that most , if not all question their faith especially early on.

At 15 I decided God did not exist. Within 24 hours i concluded that I needed Him to exist because I talked to Him all the time. I have never had a reason to change that decision.

For me faith is not about logic or reason, it is about living. If death is the ultimate result then, why should I worry? Everything else can be coped with.

Hence I do not lean on, or worry about Scripture. Scripture is the basis of faith, yes, but faith transcends it. And as for worrying about eternity? I have God’s promise, what more do I need? Details? That’s where the Devil comes in.



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