I’m pretty much in the exact same place you are (have been for about a year now). I hope I’m not violating your request by throwing a few more questions into the ring here–I mostly don’t want to clutter up the Forum by starting a new topic since what I’m asking are similar questions to yours.
My biggest problem right now stems not so much from evolution, but from cosmology and theoretical physics. When I think primarily anthropocentrically, theism and the Gospel make so much sense.
But modern cosmology just weighs on me because I feel like it only adds weight to the argument that Christianity is unlikely–of course, it’s somewhat in-line with the fact that in the Bible God uses small people to enact big change but I often find it hard to imagine that this tiny speck in an immeasurably large and old universe somehow has it figured out.
The idea of a multiverse, too, makes my stomach turn. I know it has its scientific detractors but it just feels inevitable that it’s going to be proven true sooner or later. That just seems to be how the history of major scientific discoveries has worked–someone has a hunch, it can’t be verified initially, then it gets confirmed and we’re further shown how downright mundane we are. I’m not opposed to being humbled, of course, but I can’t help but wonder why God would make the book of his word (the one people have to take on faith/trust) so anthropocentric and the book of his works (the one people can observe empirically) so depressingly large. Again, multiverse doesn’t kill theism or Christianity at all (some of the leading researchers in it are Christians) but I feel it is another lead weight on the scales in favor of the opposite worldview.
I also know that a good amount of Christians both past and present have no problem with aliens but that’s another discovery I dread, and yet feels basically like a given, given the way scientists talk about it (books like “Rare Earth” seem to be an exception–and even the author of that book is an expert in extinction and writes prolifically about the demise of humans). I doubt, even if alien intelligence exists, that we’ll interact with it, but as a likelihood, it feels probable given the sheer amount galaxies in the universe.
Believing in God is instinctual to humans, and that’s what’s scary, because instincts are not necessarily good at finding truth. Instinctually, we never assumed we were developed from other species, or that the universe was so indifferent to us. But both seem to be true to some extent.
None of these issues are per se insurmountable to our faith, obviously. But if you get enough hits, eventually you score a run–and sometimes a couple of these feel like triples to me.
If the tone of this post feels despairing, it’s probably because I’m having a rough day. I know several of you on the forum have discussed these issues with me, and it’s encouraging to see the posts of some people here who have gone through the same thing (I’d love their opinions on the issues I’ve outlined as well) and I’m always willing to give the benefit of the doubt to the worldview that offers hope and purpose and love and justice. But I don’t want to just believe it because I like it. Thanks for sharing, Evan, and thanks for any replies to this. Let’s keep searching for the truth.