Be kind to yourself. And if I may add to the thoughtful words of the community you belong to here, be kind to your brain. I know that sounds really strange. But when you’re going through a major change in perspective, your biology is trying to keep up with you, which means it has to prune some old network connections and build some new ones. And this is a lot of work as far as your biology is concerned, so if your life permits you to take some extra time to rest, that would really help. If you can veg out in the evening and watch something light and entertaining but not educational, it frees up your brain to do what it needs to do during this time of change. Good food, long walks, less computer time are all small things you can do to help you cope with this transition. Keep reminding yourself that the brain usually needs about 6 weeks (at a minimum) to grow a new neuron, and you’ll probably be growing quite a few, so don’t judge yourself about the time it takes to get through the shaky middle. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just how your biology works.
Please check in with us often and let us know how we can help.
I’ve learned to pay attention to the signals my body is giving me when my brain has maxed out on overthinking (which I also tend to do). That’s when I know it’s time to bake some cookies or watch The Big Bang Theory. If I had a garden (like @MarkD), I might do that, but alas, I now live in an apartment. I also confess to a certain fondness for shopping for a new sweater or top on the sale racks. There’s nothing like going through the sale racks to take your mind off the “big ideas” of philosophy.
P.S. It’s very popular these days to recommend meditation of the kinds that originated within different schools of Buddhism. I’ve personally found that for those of us who are over-thinkers, the intensive focus required by meditation makes things worse, not better. Quiet, active contemplation or conversation with God (which has long been a part of Christianity) is okay. But getting out of your head and into your heart is the challenge, and traditional forms of meditation such as still-point don’t really help with that.
I started out the same as you, raised in independent Baptist churches in the South. There was more certainty in ideas and less love for one another, especially people with different views and opinions, in that environment. The baggage is difficult to leave by the side of the road.
I think one way to move forward is to focus on what you can do for others, to show the love of Jesus Christ.
Good advice that I heard at church is to do for one what you’d like to be able to do for everyone.
It is also important to be reading scripture regularly, and using a daily devotional is good, too. My favorites are Spurgeon and Joy & Strength. (The latter is a significant piece of my nephrectomy story.)
(Notice also the Devotionals heading and drop down menu to select from at that first site, Heartlight.org.)
I appreciate your comment. The kind(s) of meditation that advocate emptying our minds are not for us as Christians! We are to be filling our minds we the right things and humbling ourselves, remembering who God is and what he has done and is doing, and being thankful. A take that I have adapted from the renowned atheist and early psychologist, William James, is that we make a continuous moral choice as to what we pay attention to. We are told in multiple places in scripture what those things should be like, e.g. Philippians 4:8 and Hebrews 12:2.
I should have noted that I certainly did not mean any kind of frenzied filling! When I am having my blood pressure taken at whatever medical facility (more and more frequently with my years ), I will close my eyes and rest in the Lord, recalling momentarily his peace, no matter what external circumstances may indicate (I just had a biopsy this morning) – and it will typically it will be where it belongs.
For some reason, this makes me think of @jpm’s “Argument with Teeth,” which gave me a good chuckle.
I hope the results of your biopsy are favourable, though of course it’s never easy and one has to try to trust and carry one despite what the doctor has to say. I feel I’m preaching to the choir in saying that to you, though.
My advice is to find some balance in your spiritual life. As you’ve discovered, faith is not a worldview or a philosophy, but a way of living. By your description, it sounds like your spiritual life is dominated by the life of the mind, which led you into a dead zone. More study – even more Bible study – isn’t likely to help. To recover your balance, I suggest you incorporate other spiritual disciplines into your daily life. If you’re not familiar with them, here’s an incomplete list:
Disciplines of abstinence: solitude, silence, fasting, frugality, chastity, secrecy, and sacrifice.
Disciplines of engagement: study, worship, celebration, service, prayer, fellowship, confession, and submission.
I hate to recommend a book to someone who obviously reads too much , but Dallas Willard’s book The Spirit of the Disciplines is a great introduction. Hang in there!
My own book, Friend of Science, Friend of Faith (2019), was written with your struggle directly in mind. Deb Haarsma (BioLogos president) and other BioLogos folks have given it very positive reviews. Obligatory apologies for promoting my own work - but I really want the book to reach people like you!
Its okay, other then religious/theology books I have been reading a few fiction/horror books and some books for studies in college. Just another to add to the back burner I guess.
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Klax
(The only thing that matters is faith expressed in love.)
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Then that’s what folks practicing TM are trying to be, filling it with “Ommmmm”, “Allowing the attention to go inward, toward the inner field of silence” and “‘focused attention’ is not prescribed”? Christians are prescribed focused, but peaceful and not frantic paying attention to the right things.
Praise the Lord! I am glad to hear that the Holy Spirit is now meeting you as you read the Bible.
Revelation 3:20
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
It sounds like you have had a wonderful encounter with God, He has knocked, and you are letting Him in.
As others have stated, this process takes time. So be patient and thankful for how the Lord is meeting you as you bring your questions to Him. Keep reading, thinking, asking, praying, worshiping, and meeting together with other believers. He gives us each our own unique adventure and personal relationship with Him.
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), I will close my eyes and rest in the Lord, recalling momentarily his peace, no matter what external circumstances may indicate (I just had a biopsy this morning) – and it will typically it will be where it belongs.
, but Dallas Willard’s book The Spirit of the Disciplines is a great introduction. Hang in there!