Hi, Nick. You are in our thoughts and prayers. As others have also said, we hope you can find some community or professional support where you are. But we also hope to be a supportive online community for you here and now. You aren’t alone.
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Nick, I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way and dealing with these difficulties. Others here have given you good advice, and I’m glad you are able to find some activities that bring you joy. I have struggled with faith-related anxieties too, and I will pray for you as you navigate these. Based on your comments above, it sounds like you’re feeling a degree of pressure to engage in conversations with people about faith? Am I reading that right?
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Not only faith but in general. I just cannot start a conversation. And if they talk to me first(which rarely happens im anxious if theyll ask me about what i believe.
Do you have any physical limitations that would keep you from exercising? I understand (and from personal experience) that it helps. I used to be a regular bicyclist, and I know the days that I rode I always felt better. (I have had issues with depression, too.)
A book, too, that might help is One Thousand Gifts:
It starts with her toddler sister being killed by a delivery truck in their farmyard when the author was five. I wonder if I could buy it for you somehow. Could you it read in a Kindle app? If you can, give me your email address in a private message here at BioLogos and I can try and send it to you.
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I go to the gym when i can as im in my first year of university and is already stressful . With the crisis here it is difficult to find a job even if you have a degree. But going to the gym just doesn’t help . Yes its a good way to keep your mind of for a while but you cant be there all the time. I dont know whats a kindle app im so sorry. I dont want you to waste money for me . Instead give it to someone that they need it more than me. But thank you for beign here. I have some friends here but they kinda get tired after a while of me talking about it so people responding here is helpful. God bless
I have struggled with social anxiety too, so you’re not alone. That is one reason I appreciate forums. 
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Yeah well i dont have something to say expect thank you for understanding and listening. God bless. Also it was pretty difficult to find friends even though few. I really struggled. Ohh well.
This this morning made me immediately think of you:
(Joy & Strength devotional)
(I’m not sure what “[margin]” in the lead verse means, but it’s not important.)
It’s important to keep thinking about the right things, and daily devotional and Bible reading help us to do that.
Our self-talk, what we are saying to ourselves, is desperately important, and that we are telling ourselves the truth.
…and speaks truth in his heart
The book that I recommended is all about that. What we pay attention to with our minds is a choice that we are making continuously.
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Kindle is a digital book reading format established by Amazon. It started as a separate tablet device, but apps for other mobile devices and desktop computers became available soon after.
https://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=16571048011
The offer still stands, if you’re interested. 
If you think it could help me and you have the book already free then you can feel free to send it to me. Only if you already have it . I cannot accept money in any form will that be a gift or something even more important. Beign here to listen to me is already a big thanks from me. God bless
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I think I can ‘loan’ it to you free electronically, if you won’t let me give it to you. That would prohibit my reading it while it is on loan, but that’s okay. I think it is important enough that I am rereading it a tiny bit at a time when I am waiting somewhere, but that doesn’t happen too often, so I am sure willing to forego that!
Yes, this should work:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/ref=hp_rel_topic?ie=UTF8&nodeId=200549320#GUID-2C6E6829-6BD1-4C94-918F-D1320DC235E5
Get the Kindle app on whatever you are going to use (you can actually use it on more than one device at a time) and then send me your email address in a private message here. (There’s a possibility that you may have to set up an Amazon account if you don’t already have one, but that doesn’t mean you have to buy anything.)
If it is important to you i cant take it from you. Do as your heart says. Thanks you again and God bless
Well, you wouldn’t really be taking it from me, and my heart says loan it to you, but I need your help to do that. 
I know im just reopening this but wanted to say a big thanks to the community here listening and bearing with me in my struggle. Although i dont think ill pass the struggle (even though ill go finaly to see a psychiatrist ) i wanted to thank everyone here as long as i last. So thank you all. God bless
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Hello Nickolaos,
I just wanted to throw in my thoughts and prayers for you briefly. I too struggle with depression. It is pretty well managed now, through a combination of medicine, counselling, prayer and, most of all, learning to believe in my heart that what God says about me is true, and what I or other say about me is not true, if it doesn’t agree with what God says. It took me years and years to learn:
- God loves me no matter what I do (or don’t do).
- God doesn’t just love me because God has to love me—God doesn’t just love me out of duty…God freely loves me.
- God not only loves me, God has adopted me into God’s family.
- God not only loves me and adopts me, but God also genuinely likes me! God enjoys me!
As I practice remembering and living out these truths, I have also learned that I need to practice a couple of “spiritual disciplines” that are particularly helpful for my depression:
-
I try to “pray without ceasing.” I do this through “breath prayers”—that is, I pray a whispered prayer every time I breath: "Lord Jesus “have mercy on me”
-
I practice seeing the beauty in the small things of life. The overall picture of the brokenness of the world can really get to me…especially when friends and family are suffering, or the world seems to be going to hell…then I need to really consciously notice the beauty of the snow-flakes falling from the sky (it’s snowing here right now, while I write this), or the beauty of my cat’s fur, or the beauty of the wood-grain in the coffee table…
-
When sadness threatens to overwhelm me, instead of fighting it, I now acknowledge it and let it wash over me…instead of saying to myself “Dan, stop feeling sad! You have nothing to be sad about”, I say “I’m feeling sad…that’s okay…let’s just rest here a moment until it moves on.”
I hope something from my experience can help you a bit Nickolaos. My first very significant bout of depression happened when I was about your age, I imagine. But there is hope! It can get better. Be well, brother in Christ. We are praying for you.
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As others have already indicated, you are definitely not alone in this. For most of my adult life, I have struggled with chronic depression (dysthymia) and social anxiety disorder, which are two somewhat specific diagnoses. With regard to the first one, you know how most people tend to feel normal but, every once in awhile, they might experience episodes of depression? For me it’s the other way around: I usually feel depressed but, every now and then, I sometimes experience episodes of feeling normal. In addition to that is the second thing I mentioned, a persistent social anxiety disorder, which means I go through life fearing that other people are judging me negatively, talking about me disapprovingly, laughing at me, and so forth. This can sometimes lead to crippling panic attacks. And when those happen in conjunction with a major depressive episode—well, luckily that doesn’t happen very often, because there have been times when that has led to thoughts of suicide. So trust me, Nickolaos, I can definitely empathize with your struggle.
I would echo the concern expressed by others here, that you need to (1) avoid social isolation and (2) find someone with whom you can talk about these things. I had to learn those two things the hard way, and I don’t recommend learning things the hard way—especially this. Take this advice you are being provided. I highly recommend finding a good local church and developing a close personal relationship with the pastor, with whom you really must share these personal struggles. A good church and a good pastor with whom you feel comfortable enough to be open, honest, raw, and real. Through prayer, safe and sensitive conversation, and biblical counseling, the Lord can begin to heal these spiritual wounds. I am speaking from experience. Through avoiding social isolation and talking to a loving pastor who I trusted with this broken part of me—in addition to other things like clinging to God’s promises, praying regularly and with raw honesty, being actively involved in the church, etc.—the chronic depression has diminished significantly and the anxiety attacks are bearable and don’t last as long they once did. And I haven’t had a suicidal thought in a very long time.
I’m glad that you feel enabled and safe enough to talk with us here in these forums. However, hear me now and trust me, this is still a form of social isolation. This is a good place to start, but real-world intervention is needed—again, through prayer, safe and open conversation, and biblical counseling, all of this with a loving pastor you can trust in a local church where you feel comfortable and can be actively involved. It is my sincere prayer that you can find something like this where you live, mostly for the reasons I have described already but also because it is free. Many of us are praying for you already, and we will continue to do so.
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Sorry to hear about your troubles. Did you know there is a Christian ministry that can help you out?
they are based in the US but they may have resources where you are.
www.newlife.com They also have a call in radio show you can listen to. They also allow a search of the shows by keywords.
Hope you get all the help you need.
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