“Too often, the consummate debater misses nuances in her interlocutor’s views because she has not taken the time truly to understand them. As a result, she instead ends up directing a battery of arguments at a position which may be some distance from her interlocutor’s actual views.”
I see that a lot here. But it is hard that most of the dialogue on forums like this takes place outside the context of genuine human relationships and actual human presence. It is harder to “listen” and “be present” to words on a screen than when you are interacting with a person with a face, and body language, and tone, and all those other cues that help us zero in on the humanity and the potential struggle behind the words.