Why does a father bring a surprise toy to a loved child? Because he loves them and because of enlightened self-interest. They are not mutually exclusive… he is looking forward to seeing the resulting delight and to share a hug. That’s terrible, right? And so selfish.
Are you denying the cited verse? It sure looks like it. And btw, it does not contradict 1 John 3:16, but you must think so.