All this about the motivation of enlightened self-interest is not to say that it is something that anyone is necessarily thinking about prior to any given action, and in fact probably not. It is something that is more likely realized in retrospect and upon analysis. Desire is the motivation, and @Relates may be correct about that, that the desire that comes from love may be the more conscious motivation.
But maybe not, too. A first responder or even a passing motorist who stops and springs into action to pull an accident victim from a burning car is acting in love, right? What are they thinking about, their motivation? There may be a quick conscious analysis questioning, “Should I do this or not?”, but they are much more likely thinking about feasibility and not pondering motivation! So in essence their action springs from who they are in their heart, and it is not unloving and callous to another’s need.