I need your help


(Luca) #1

Since this is a personal thing i don’t know what topic to put it in. But its about my grandma. Shes always been against the church and doesn’t find belief in God convincing. But in the last 3 years her health went downwards. And now i feel like she is very close to death. A doc came by today and ever since shes been looking worried. And i thinn she is very worried about dying. Or atleast unsettled. She’s trying to get her mind of it but isnt able to. Now me and my grandma are very close. And well my worldview and hers clash. So i dont know what to tell her. I dont know how to comfort her. I dont believe in hell but i do believe that her future is nothingness. Now she does expect that fate either way. But i just dont know how to comfort her or how to help her?

Sorry if this isnt clear or confusing but i just dont know what to say to her. And i dont think id enjoy a future without my beloved grandma. Any tips are very very welcome.


(Mervin Bitikofer) #2

I will pray for both you and your grandma, Luca; and I’m sure many others here would join in that too.

It is difficult without knowing you both better to know what kind of advice to give beyond just general Christian sharing and hope. And in that regard, it seems to me that you derive comfort and hope in Christ for yourself? That has got to have an effect on your grandma (if she knows) just as she has an effect on you. I don’t know how you could bring it up, but if somehow she could get the sense of the hope you have for yourself, and your wish that she too could rest in that hope; perhaps God may be softening her heart with death looming. I know I will pray in that regard. But you know your grandma better than any of us, and what might push her away or draw her closer. Of course even people close to her might [get surprised by her] as death seems near. I hope and pray for God to give you the courage and wisdom to tell her what she needs to hear. And of course, to just love on her, like you already do, no matter what outward response she may give back.


(Mervin Bitikofer) #3

…and if you do say something (as I think you need to in one way or another) and her old thought patterns re-surface with something like: “now don’t you start in on me with all that worthless religion stuff!”, then (if she were my grandma) I would remind her that my hope for myself and for her is not in any religion (not even the Christian religion), but in Christ alone. I would resist any temptation to start getting defensive on behalf of any religions – even good ones.


(John Dalton) #4

I respect this sentiment.

But I will note that this may be the better part of it. I’m not saying you meant anything contrary to this, but I think it’s worth noting that the dignity of the dying should be respected, including their attachment to their personal beliefs.

I would think, Luca (although everyone is different of course) that simply spending time with her would be the single most comforting thing you could do for her at this time. That is a wonderful thing to be able to do when one can.


(Phil) #5

Just love her. If it is to be, she will see Christ in you. If she is able, ask her to share from her life , from her childhood. Ask what she felt and thought as the world around her changed, what she enjoyed, maybe what she regrets. You will never get another chance to do so, and in so doing will help validate her life.


(Luca) #6

Thanks guys. I’m just going to be there for her as much as I can. I suppose that’s the most I can do.