OOPS!
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My mother was born in Massachusetts and never drove a car with an “r” in it.
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How do they say the first ‘r’ in straighter? Obviously, they lose the second one.
Too late to find out now … from my one informant.
Proof angels are male.
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The thing about New England accents is that the Rs are not actually omitted so much as rearranged. 
For example, many people whose names end in “a” never hear them spoken that way by people with Maine accents. People with names like Hannah, Ella, or Brenda become Hanner, Eller, and Brender. So all they really do is take Rs from where they are and move them to places they aren’t. Not sure whether they eventually break even or not. 
(And there are slight differences in the different New England accents of course).
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Customers were comparing unit prices and discovered that they were higher in the Family Value Size than the regular package? 
People don’t read labels! (Like Excedrin Migraine… same active ingredients, way higher unit price than plain ol’ regular, and the house brand works the same at half the cost.)
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I suppose if a store is going to push “buy one for the price of two” sorts of deals, naturally you wouldn’t want your clientele getting too mathematical while waiting in line.
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Two for the price of one is the sale at the shoe store.
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But when you get home, open up the shoebox, and discover that the left shoe was optional, and will only be included with extra charge, then you know that probably isn’t the shoe store for you.
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I saw a huge billboard on the way to Chicago 2 weeks ago, advertising for a vasectomy–“Get One Side Done, Get the Second Side Free!” Wish I could have stopped to photograph it.
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That would work at a carwash, too.
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Try driving clockwise in a six-lane one in the UK. 
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Here’s a variation!:
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