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This makes me wish I could also scrub my eye balls. 
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I just wonder if they have a machine language link capable of preserving the heavy accent of a professor new to English. It definitely would not be true to my experience at Cal otherwise.
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A spin-off from the spin-off, so stretching it a bit to be under ‘Humor in Science and Theology’ (but St. Patrick is the patron):
Q: What’s Irish and stays outside?
A: Patty O’Furniture! 
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In another thread, @jpm reminds us of Pi Day, which in turn reminded me of Thanksgiving at church a couple of years ago:
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If I had a “cultural engagement motto” from my teen years, this would probably be pretty close to it. 
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Peter Kay, derided by Dickie Dawkins for his faith no less, made the best Judeo-Christian joke ever for me: “When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.”
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Why does Jesus look like a young Ken Ham??!! 
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This thread is for humor, not making people sick. 
Let me retract that. Patty O’Furniture may have had that effect as well.
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Ken Ham looks like Deadpool without his costume.
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Preceding the video was “Warning: do not use nettles!”
“We live on a little wooded acreage just outside of town and we have some nettles, but also plenty of dock, and it will be popping up soon.”
I was posting that as comment and looked up the spelling of the latter weed to be sure it wasn’t something esoteric that I had forgotten in the ensuing years since I had last seen it in print – it had been multiple decades. The fourth definition of it as a noun:
a coarse weed of temperate regions, with inconspicuous greenish or reddish flowers. The leaves are popularly used to relieve nettle stings.
We can conserve our dock by using nettles first!! 
(I laughed harder and longer than I had for a while!)
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