Yes, you are right.
Here you get to the heart of the problem with YEC and doctrine:
This is the key, isn’t it?
The theology many of us hold or have held seems to be in direct conflict with what has been learned and continues to be learned about the universe.
And this:
You state it so precisely.
What is right? How to handle this truth?
Do we die, trying to defend YEC, which is demonstrably false, in order to support our theology? Who outside our enclaves will believe such a testimony or message?
Do we seek to understand reality as God allows us to discover more of it, and trust Him to help us wrangle with these things? Support each other in the struggling? Try to understand a theology that includes reality?
Do we give up? It seems actually, people are giving up, especially the ones who have come from YEC and finally realize it’s not reconcilable with reality, and therefore cannot support their faith. And those outside see our mess, and just shake their heads; for good reason, they want nothing to do with it.
Something else?