Forum clickbait titles

Stay with me on this; yes this is humor but I’m getting to a point.

  • 300 reasons why you’re going to hell (#217 made me cry!)

  • This Christian was asked how old the earth is. Scientists are furious!

  • American preacher shares one weird tip for making millions off gullible Christians!

  • This theologian came up with a new argument for free will. Calvinists hate him!

  • The Pope was asked why women can’t be priests. You’ll never believe her answer!

  • Critical scholar hears about new Kompositionsgeschichte theory of the Synoptic heiligen Schutzengeln, and his reaction is Zumderfundeißplaschesse!

It occurred to me the other day that I rarely read most threads here. The titles either don’t look interesting or actually turn me off. It made me wonder about why I read the threads I choose to read, and if I should broaden my scope of interest.

It’s clear I’m not the only person who feels this way; there are plenty of threads here which languish through lack of views and participation. So I’m interested in which topics grab most people’s attention and which titles encourage people to read the thread.

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I feel there is no better way to respond to this than by adding my own list of made-up clickbait titles:


With titles like that, I would read those threads!

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Do you have a link to the piece by that Kompositionsgeschichte guy? He sounds one cool dude!


Let me save you some time, Jon. I checked out the one about the you and I going into a bar…

Not worth the trouble to click - - the whole discussion gets hi-jacked by a 60 year old trans-sexual, seeking admission into the Jesuit order…

Dog(matic) fights to the death exposed for all to see!

Only critical scholars will get #6!

Several bored middle-aged men argue about minutia on online forum. You won’t believe what happens next!


Bwahahahahahaha! LOL LOL LOL

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This thread made me think of the winner of a 1980 contest to come up with the ultimate headline for the National Enquirer:
“Elvis clone reveals Jackie’s secret UFO diet!”


<< Yawn >>

Boring??? I have an inflamed boil … that’s DRAMA …

Ken Ham is the ultimate clickbait. Put Ken Ham in the title of almost any thread, and the traffic will double. I’ve taken the liberty of rewriting the following thread titles in the Ken Ham clickbait style:

Ken Ham 2.0
Brad, can you build a survey around Ken Ham?
A modern retelling of the creation of Ken Ham
Does Ken Ham provide any useful scientific benefit?
My Ken Ham Challenge
Quality of the extrapolation leading to billions of Ken Hams
Does Ken Ham have a non-physical soul? (And how does modern science affect him?)
Ken Ham vs. Western angles on truth
Divine Morality and Ken Ham
Why Science Uses Ken Ham
Kinder, gentler Ken Ham wishlist
You can believe Ken Ham. Jesus does :slight_smile:


Whoa, that’s a good one. I’ll start working on that.

And yes, this is completely true. Anything we publish about Ken Ham/AiG does really well. But our mission is much broader than just posting critiques of AiG, although that’s definitely a big priority.

You win the internet today.


Wow… I suppose I was spot on then when I titled my most recent thread :stuck_out_tongue: .

Or maybe it needs improvement:

Ken Ham on the Chinese Flood: Does Ken Ham realize how strongly Ken Ham is contradicting Ken Ham’s paradigm?


Next thread on BioLogos:

Ken Ham’s Trinitarian Nature

I’m killing myself over here! Help! Help! Hahaha


Y’all are hilarious. This thread made me laugh out loud. :laughing:

In honor of you, I’ve retitled my most recent contribution to the forum.

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Haha. Thank you! The Fraternal Order of Jays marches onward to world domination!

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