Family Christian Introduces New Protective Christian Bubble™ For Children


#1

From the Babylon Bee, a product announcement:

Family Christian Introduces New Protective Christian Bubble™ For Children


(Mervin Bitikofer) #2

Maybe this one is new and improved. I know they’ve had trouble with lots of previous releases getting lots of holes in them and constantly needing patching.

If you get the optional innoculation umbilical feature with it (be prepared to spend a lot more money) – it will feed through carefully pre-digested secularisms along with the necessary antibodies so that the backup immune system is at least somewhat functional in case of scbf (structurally catastrophic bubble failure).


(Andrew M. Wolfe) #3

The dateline shows Grand Rapids. Coincidence? I think not.


#4

They are trying to develop a spray-on product that neutralizes secularism on contact.


(Phil) #5

While I love Babylon Bee and the way they get us to laugh about ourselves, there is really a good truth in this satire, as is the case with much humor.
The original “bubble boy” came about because he had an immune disorder and could not fight disease. The bubble was made to form an artificial barrier to isolate him from the outside world. It ultimately failed, as he died from a complication of treatment from the EB virus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Vetter
Doomed to failure is also our desire to insulate our children from the world. We can only hope to stimulate their internal defenses (their immune system) and prepare them for the bad stuff they inevitably must interact with. Indeed, it is bibical to be " in the world but not of the world." To do otherwise is to set them up for failure.


(Casper Hesp) #6

From the article:

(…), allows the child to breathe unhindered while the intelligent processor embedded in the skin of the Bubble™ works continuously to identify and block any visual or auditory stimuli its advanced algorithms translate as “secular.”

When I first read this, I actually thought it said “professor” instead of processor. It would be extremely useful to have an intelligent professor embedded in the skin of the Bubble, though a bit tiring maybe… And creepy too.


(system) #7

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