Perhaps a big part of the problem here is that this is a matter of faith for me… quoting myself from elsewhere
Around that time my sister attempted suicide and I think that helped more than anything to push me more solidly into the theist worldview with my equivalence between a faith in God and the existential faith that life was worth living.
Trying to convince me otherwise as you have been doing is like trying to convince most of you that God doesn’t exist.
You can add this to your reasons for believing all this crap.
I refuse. Life isn’t just about objective observation. Life is subjective participation. Go ahead and lay down and die with a “life sucks” attitude. I would be dead already with an attitude like that. I simply refuse, no matter what, and that is all there is to it.