Josh,
The Latin words for the situation you are struggling with are *ex nihilo," which means “out of nothing”*and “de novo” which means " new beginning." The caveat is that “ex nihilo” means “nothing physical” and *de novo’*new beginnings are like the, Genesis “let there be” creations. Nothing physical, before time or space is beyond science, however, it accurately describes the mind, will and Word of the Creator. The *Bible" is not intended to be a science textbook. Still, after years of scientific and theological study, I am confident that John 1:1-3 and Genesis are true. I will list a few points to explain what I believe is biblically and scientifically solid:
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General and Special relativity is the best scientific explanation of our origin from the Initial Singularity (see Britanica or Wikipedia), which began spacetime at the second picosecond (best calculation) of time and started the Planck epoch (Big Bang.)
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No one ever has or ever will actually know how the Initial Singularity arrived with our universe and spacetime in that first picosecond (or possibly an eternity before time). So, I think there are more reasons to believe in a Creator than speculate about Black Holes, String Theories and other “shot in the dark” guesses.
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IF** you go with ex nihilo" creation*; science and theology fall neatly into their places. For instance, John 1: 1-3 is fulfilled and Genesis is an eyewitness outline of creation by the Creator himself. Remember that "without faith it is impossible to please God. At the creation you are required to choose a Creator on faith, or something else on speculation.
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IF** you continue with de novo creation; Quantum Field Theory (QFT) is the scientific tool of nature the Creator probably used to initially speak His creation into material being. The new beginnings are the “Let there be” instructions to the electromagnetic field outlined in Genesis. By the power of His Word, quantum interactions respond with Standard Model Elementary Particles. (Possibly like Jesus calmed the Sea of Gallilee.)
This is not a “God of the gaps” explanation. Only the God if the Bible could “do it” unless you prefer the Black Hole, String Theory or other speculations. And, yes, God does interact with our physical reality, Evolution is a feature of nature He put in place to maintain and develop the creation for His purposes within His guidelines. A careful examination of the anthropic principles active in our universe reveals glaring examples of His grace to humanity. Otherwise we would have gone extinct eons ago. Earth was “taylor made” for us. For example, Astrophysist Hugh Ross points out that the heavy elements and radioisotopes to make Earth and us required at least three generations of supernova many times larger than our sun to explode to provide the necessary raw materials. Yes, it turns out that we are made of star “dust.”
No, the universe was never “self existent.” It has a finite age of about 13.8 billion years old. The first nine to ten billion years were required for the three generations of supernova mentioned above, before the creation of the Milky Way galaxy and our planetary system about 3.8 to 4 billion years ago.
Finally, you pointed out the need for God’s involvement with us. Jesus explained it to Nicodemus. His Holy Spirit is alive, well, and deeply involved. Here is a sentence to ponder in light of what God is doing as explained in the little book of John. Think about this, “God works with us anonymously so we can live before Him autonomously.” If He did it any other way we would not have the freedom of choice to respond to the Holy Spirit and choose to be adopted into His family.
No, the "foundations of your faith do not rest on falsifiable evidence and yes there are good reasons to believe in the God of the Bible. His promises are true, His love is dependable, and He is faithful. The foundation of your faith must rest on the finished work of Jesus Christ because there is none other who can safely bring you into the presence of God as an adopted son. His sacrifice on the cross paid your way. Dig into the Bible and study God’s Word to understand how this all comes together.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a sign of trust and deep questions are appropriate here in this safe environment.
I hope my brief comments are helpful. I am working on a 345 page manuscript to explain these things for my grandsons who are 22 to 28 and other young adults like you.
Blessings
Bill
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