Baptists told everyone how they should get baptized. But what goes around comes around, and now Charismatics are telling Baptists how they should receive the Holy Spirit. Apparently this is a real church service.
#FunkyChickenDance
#YouCanSkipTheGym
This should take care of our church’s budget for the next few decades:
Hello Son Of God !Stay blessed and safe.
My name is [X] from United Kingdom, a widow suffering from Breast Cancer and Stroke, which denied me a child as a result, i may not last till the next two months according to my doctor report, I’m married to late Pastor [Y], and we were married for many years without any child before his death, I’m 68 years old woman. I have some funds i inherited from my late husband the sum of (Ten Million Dollars) which i needed a very honest and God fearing person who will claim the funds from the bank and use the funds for work of God Affairs like; donation in the house of God, propagating the good news of God and to endeavor God worshiping place and help less-privileged, I found your profile and i decided to contact you for the donation work of God. I don’t need any telephone communication in this regards because of my health according to my doctor report, please if you would be able to use the funds for the work of God as i stated ,contact me back so will lead you to Alpha bank where this funds was deposited by my late husband Pastor [Y], for you to retrieve the funds in my name as the next of kin. I will stop here until i hear from you.
Yours sincerely
Always pray for my health.
[X].
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This does not in any way resemble any of the many Baptist churches I’ve attended in my life. At all. Ever.
That’s because it’s not a Baptist church.
Oh. Ok.
My mistake.
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Have you ever noticed that no picture of Adam (and Eve) is complete without strategically placed foliage 
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I see dark clouds on the horizon….
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Baptists hate that kind of thing, of course.
Here’s a thought for Valentine’s Day: Radiometric dating is evil; you should only date people of the opposite sex.
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My brand of Baptist fits fine under the umbrella of Frozen Chosen.
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How do you not notice? (Honest question. 
)
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Valentine’s Day tip - ChatGPT writes decent love poems catered to your partner’s interest
If it’s frozen you don’t need an umbrella? (And Frozen Chosen sounds like a menu item at Dairy Queen… or maybe the whole menu. ; - )
He’s also has an air sword. Who is he fencing with? 
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Dating dead people would make conversation harder.
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In some cases it would make the conversation better.
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