Your question is a bit more complicated than it appears on the surface, because you mentioned a few different contexts and some without much detail. I’ll guess at some contexts where you and others may find yourselves. These have been mine, but not in the study of philosophy.
Online: If you don’t like the flavor of discussions in one or another place online, go somewhere else. Perhaps the library, where the real philosophers are waiting on the shelves for you. Every cat and dog can make an account and spew idiocy in public. Let them. But you don’t need to be a witness. If you want to discuss philosophy with some of the people you find good partners, propose creating a small, private subgroup, which includes intelligent people who disagree with you.
In Public (I’m assuming MAYBE university)
In class: The prof dictates and steers the class. That’s what people are paying her to do. University costs a fortune. No one wants to be paying, while a fellow student undermines the purpose and content of the class. If you have concerns about the culture of the class being disrespectful, explain your concerns to the prof during her office hours and then listen to her wisdom. She may tell you that you need a thicker skin. I certainly did.
In Public
Around Campus/Hanging out with fellow students:
Stop steering conversations toward philosophy or religion or apologetics and get to know these people. Let them get to know you as a real, live human being. Develop respect for each other. In the end, it’s better to have them say, “Paul’s got some odd ideas about religion, but he’s been a good friend,” than “Christians are all such idiot folk-religionists, and Paul’s among the worst. He just won’t leave me alone about it.”
At work:
DO YOUR JOB WELL. It’s what you’ve been hired to do. As much as is in your power make your coworkers’ work place a good place to go. So, that at the end of the day, they’re not running out the door to get away, but maybe hanging around afterward and talking about an interesting book or the car they are looking at, or what’s wrong with the boss (who is away at a conference at the time).
Everywhere:
Become a better listener. I’ve been working on it for about 30 yeas and am finally making a little progress. Studying anything implies taking in content and mastering a large body of material. Work at mastery, comprehension, thought-skill-buildilng.
When you float ideas out to someone who will challenge you well, do it with the understanding that you don’t get to reply for a week. During that week, study the response hard and learn what the other person’s critique means and how it can make your thinking better.
Being out in the world is precisely that. Don’t expect people who aren’t Christians or religious to even understand why they might be respectful. That’s the background. Angry defensiveness just makes you look angry and defensive.
How did Jesus handle the world? Who did he argue with and insult? It wasn’t the tax collectors and prostitutes. He ate with them.
Some of us are dealing with tangetial questions to yours over at this thread. You might find it of interest. Please feel free to read around there. The link to the book we’re reading is in the O.P. (original post).
Also, finally, a question: You mentioned students of color. Are YOU a student of color?