Hey Steph. Although I am ten years younger than you, I can relate to a lot of the things you said. My story is written here if you would like to read it. I am the type of person that will passionately defend a belief that I have, even to the point of being illogical. What I’ve learned in the past year is that it’s okay to be wrong. It feels embarrassing to admit it when you’re wrong, and it seems like people won’t respect you. But, honestly I have found that there is great honor in being able to recognize when you’re wrong. We are human. We get things wrong. Then, when we realize that we were wrong, it is better to admit that than to stick with something you aren’t even convinced of anymore (I’m using the universal “you” here, so don’t feel like I’m trying to single you out).
how dare mankind think they have the right to see (and sometimes tinker with) the amazing, intricate, magical inner workings of life, the universe and all that God created? this is my major stumbling block. i think mankind has way too high an opinion of himself and should basically ‘back the hell off’ and leave things alone.
I understand exactly how you feel here. What I have come to realize is that “God has, in fact, written two books, not just one. Of course, we are all familiar with the first book he wrote, namely Scripture. But he has written a second book called Creation.” Sir Francis Bacon, the one who popularized the Scientific Method, said that. See, God has allowed us the ability to go outside and pick up an insect and study how it works. As Christians, when we study science we are revealing more of God’s wonderful gift to us in Nature. We are functioning in exactly the role that God intended when we study his Creation.
Now onto magic. I too shared (and still share to an extent) your discomfort with the “non-magicalness” of scientific processes. I do not, and will never, know what it is like to experience pregnancy, so I cannot claim to know what that feels like. However, I have begun to see that the way God forms things is truly beautiful. For example, when you saw ultrasounds, you got to see a living person inside of you. And it progressed as time went on. The fact that the process of development is ultimately predictable is not a hindrance to the magic of it. Rather, it is a realization of God’s hand in the world. The way that God “forms us in our mother’s womb” is truly remarkable, and the fact that God has given us the ability to study how he does it, is one of the greatest gifts I can imagine. Evolution and the big bang work the same way. Understanding how God did things is not meant to be a disappointment. There is a certain joy in science, the study of God’s Creation, that I believe is a product of the fact that He made us to worship Him.
My point is this: understanding the magic doesn’t make it any less magical.