This is interesting, and I have agreed that sometimes this seems to be the case. Of course, in some cases, unbelievers are more ethical because they fear the opinion of the fellowman. Or because they believe that one good turn deserves another, and so their good deeds will result in others being good to them… But that aside, I have recently often said to my christian friends that it is not what you believe on paper, but how you live that expresses your true theology. This works in two ways, first that if you have the right beliefs, but don’t live by them, you will be a poor witness. On the other hand, if your theology is not completely right but you live the way Jesus wants you to, then you are being more obedient. Your statement about being impacted most of all by the ethics and consideration of people verifies this for me (and I hope for others).
I can identify with what you said here, because it is also part of the reason we are no longer attending a reformed denomination, and are now attending a community church from an anabaptist tradition. This is related to personal experience at the denominational and local level. Of course, people are people in every church and denomination, and none are free from sin, but sometimes we just want some relief from what we are experiencing.
On the other hand, God is with me wherever I go, wherever I am. He will forgive those people as he forgives me, and I cannot ultimately claim to be better than them.
So a couple of questions, then I will answer yours about knowledge. What does “goodness sake” mean to you? Why do you choose to be good, rather than bad? Does “goodness” care whether you are good or bad? and finally, what role did Jesus play in your former Christianity?
So to your question… Knowledge we’ve gained, or knowledge I’ve gained, which may be different than yours, does it conflict my beliefs? Such a general question could have many answers, but in general, I would say no. It does not conflict my basic beliefs. I believe there are explanations for how apparent differences between nature and scripture can be resolved. This is based on the basic principle that science conflicts with the resurrection, and so I cannot place science on an immutable pedestal. Yet, science, as a discovery process, is a beautiful thing, as is the nature that God created. Science itself is God’s instrument to keep us humble, and to demonstrate the increasing greatness of God. (not that God’s greatness increases, but that our awareness and increasing understanding of his greatness increases.).
It is not science that belittles beliefs, but people who misappropriate science who belittle others. God’s creation shows how small we are, but does not belittle us. People belittle others.