… and would that suspicious green crib sheet possibly be the mysterious Q?
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Inductive medicine/science:
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After Quasimodo dies the Bishop of Notre Dame looks to hire a new bell-ringer for the Cathedral. He puts fliers out all over Paris, and one day a man born without arms comes to his office. ‘I’m here to audition for the bell-ringer position,” he says.
“But, sir, you have no arms,” replies the bishop. “How do you manage to ring the bells?”
“Well, Your Excellency, I just pound my forehead against the bells, and ring them that way.”
The Bishop is skeptical, but grants the armless man an audition.
And moments after the armless man trudges up the steps to the belfry, the most beautiful music anyone has ever heard from those bells can be heard all over Paris. It’s so beautiful that a crowd begins to gather in the square outside the Cathedral, growing larger and larger.
But in the middle of one of his songs,the armless man loses his balance in the bell tower, and unable to catch himself, he falls out the window of the belfry down to his death on the cobblestones below. Horrified, the crowd gathers around the poor man’s body. The bishop, too, runs out of the Cathedral to the terrible scene below.
“Bishop,” asks someone in the crowd, “tell us, who was this man?”
‘I never got his name,” says the bishop, “But his face rings a bell.”
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Today in Sunday School, I really had to think over what I teach our kids.
One of my favorite parts of Sunday School is singing songs with the kids and acting them out at the same time. In the 4- and 5 -year old class, the favorites include “I’m In the Lord’s Army,” “Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho,” and “Only a Boy Named David”. As they sing, they enthusiastically make out the motions (especially the boys)
“Lord’s Army”–“I may never march (stamp) in the infantry, ride (jump) in the cavalry, shoot (clap hands loudly) the artillery…zoom (arms out) over the enemy, but I’m in the Lord’s Army.”
“Jericho”–they stomp or run around in circles–“Joshua fit the battle of Jericho, and the walls came a-tumbling down!” (then everyone tumbles down on the ground).
" David"–"Only a boy named David, only a little sling; only a boy named David, but he could pray and sing; only a boy named David, only a rippling brook; only a boy named David, but 5 little stones he took; and one little stone went in the sling, and the sling went round and round; (repeat several times, whirling your arm above your head)–"And the giant–came–a-tumbling–down! (everyone claps their hands to their foreheads, and falls down).
Right after these songs, though, two of the boys started acting cops and robbers, shooting at each other with their hands cocked. Realizing subconsciously the contradiction, I said somewhat helplessly but as with as much firmness as I could muster, “We don’t fight with guns in church.” I’m sure that they looked at me with wonder as they processed the contradiction with what I had just been teaching them. “Then,” said one, “I want to play ‘Zombies’! That doesn’t require shooting!”.
There are other reasons to question from Enns and Lamoureux whether God really meant all these stories anyway the way we remember them–or if they’re filtered through ANE eyes (especially Noah’s story, which we just finished with a month ago). However, I am also a bit afraid of what those boys will tell their parents down the road!
That may change as our culture (and congregations) lean more and more into fear of armed intruders. How much longer before it becomes standard fare to find ushers and greeters armed with glocks? I can see it now … beside “nursery helper” and “song leader” on the ministry commitment form will be “sharpshooter”. As usual, some of the Anabaptist congregations will be grumbling and dragging their feet about this, especially when somebody suggests that there ought to be an NRA flag up beside the American flag (yes - there are a few Mennonite churches who actually do have the latter!).
Sorry … that humor got a bit dark. And disturbingly realistic. You Sunday School pupils were just being honestly forthright about the things that we feel protect our way of life! What’s not to get excited about?!
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What!?
yes, I wasn’t sure if I should post this in the Humor or a new thread. It was kind of dark. I wasn’t sure if the way I have used violent songs (so to speak) in SS could cause trauma to them down the road. However, maybe I need to be available for them to talk as they grow older.
It’s nothing new - so don’t feel like you’re alone in this. If you’re going to lose sleep over it, then everybody should be … (and yes maybe we all should be bothered by rather than adjusted to it). But I doubt there is the boy alive in a western country who didn’t find a stick to use for a gun to play “cops and robbers” with as they grew up. I know I did. Shoot - I’ve even enjoyed a round of laser tag with my grown kids [sorry that my Anabaptist ‘street-cred’ here will take a huge hit for this; I may have to commence with “image management” here in a bit.] But I’ll bet even Amish kids do it. It’s been pretty deeply embedded in our cultural landscape for some time now.
[In fairness to myself - and to mitigate damages; we did not set out to go play laser tag somewhere, but won a package deal from a chamber of commerce because we won a prize from a local public radio station. There. Can I have some of my reputation back now? --sure did enjoy it once we were doing it, though … ]
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A local church actually had classes for carry permits and several additional members, to go along with the 2 or 3 known to carry, are now packing. No snipers though.
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“Snipers” will be on the ministry forms for the mega church sanctuaries where there’s more distance involved.
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I just hope someone is doing very careful background checks on those they’re inviting to carry arms among them. Psychologically damaged good guys can do as a much damage as any bad guy.
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And for any Mr. Bean fans … this little chestnut.
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Can’t remember whether this one’s been posted or not, but 'tis the season anyway 
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This one is dedicated to all the science majors coming home to their YEC parents for Christmas. 
It’s about the North Pole elf who comes home for the holidays having chosen to be a Tolkien elf instead.
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That was amazing! thanks for sharing.
That is a bonafide internet winner if ever I saw one.