I recently did a Bing search for “Dimyella starcki D. R. Moore, 1970”, a species of minute clam, to (unsuccesfully) find the paper it was described it. Out of curiosity, I clicked on the “shopping” option. The first hit was a refrigerator from Home Depot, next was an unidentifiable piece of brass-colored metal (a decoration ??), next was moustache wax, eventually there was the marginally-relevant buoy set. On a second try, to see if it was consistent, the first thing was the fridge, followed by some Tommy Bahama shoes, the same metal thing, paintings, a mobility scooter, records, and a skirt.
Does this level of relevance relate to my never getting ads for stuff I order online (e.g, unusual sieve sizes, 1-ml glass vials, and French-language comic books)?
Some search algorithms are coded while the developer is having a nightmare.
Maybe because the comma was left out of the bulletin noting the church potluck, as well as a sufficient pause in the declaration after the meal was blessed:
“Let’s eat everyone!”
That reminds me of the senior memory anecdote* about the clergyman who visits an elderly parishioner and says, “At your age, you should be thinking more about the hereafter.” She replies, “I do, multiple times every day – when I go to the laundry room, when I go to the pantry, when I go to the upstairs bedroom, when I go to the garage… I think ‘what am I here after?’”
*… which reminds me that I’m in my anecdotage – I can’t remember to whom I’ve told what story.
There once was a Catholic priest named Father Mulcahy who had a good friend, Rabbi Aarons.
One day, Father Mulcahy asked Rabbi Aarons if he had ever eaten pork. Somewhat sheepishly, he said that he had attended an interfaith camp as a child and had picked up the wrong lunch bag. He got separated from the group and eventually became very hungry. He opened the bag, expecting a brisket sandwich, and was surprised to see a ham and cheese on rye. Being ravenous, he ate it, then begged G-d to forgive him.
“How did you like the sandwich?” Father Mulcahy asked.
Rabbi Aarons said it had been very tasty, and then he asked Father Mulcahy, since they were in confessional mode, whether he had ever had sex with a woman.
Father Mulcahy, clearly nervous, said that once, before seminary, he had been making out with a girl from his high school class under the stands after a football game and – well – things went a bit far and before you knew it … But never since.
Rabbi Aarons replied: “Sure beats the hell out of a ham and cheese sandwich, doesn’t it?”
I have heard variations on that at least half a dozen times, but not that exact one, or from you before.
I found this satirical joke funny.
There are several types of theology in the world.
- There is black theology.
- There is feminist theology.
- There is theology interpreted through various foreign lenses.
- There is progressive theology.
- There is liberal theology.
- There is eastern influenced theology.
- There is biblical theology.
It’s revealing too. That last category is what everybody claims to have who is critical of all those other movements. Those who identify strongly with the last one almost literally cannot conceive of the possibility that they too, might be “just another camp” just like all the others. Which is the epitome of cultural privilege on display for all others to see. It declares: “I’m the ‘norm’ by which everybody else is measured and found wanting.”
Everybody else has a ‘take’ on the Bible. But that last group knows nothing of interpretation … what they [say they] have in their minds is just “the Word of God” straight up.
I think that’s the most amusing thing too. Those in that last camp, most often never even catch the joke. It’s always a good way to test a room.
Exercise for people over sixty
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface,
where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend
your arms straight out from your sides and
hold them there as long as you can. Try to
reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you’ll find that you can hold this
position for just a bit longer. After a couple
of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
Then try 50-lb potato bags and then
eventually try to get to where you can lift a
100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold
your arms straight for more than a full
minute. (I’m now at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a
potato in each bag.
